One of the most common questions parents ask during a separation is:
“At what age can my child decide which parent they want to live with?”
The short answer is that there is no specific age in England and Wales at which a child can make that decision themselves. The court, not the child, makes decisions about where a child lives if parents cannot agree.
However, a child’s wishes and feelings can play an important role, particularly as they grow older and mature.
Does My Child’s Age Matter?
Yes.
When considering arrangements for a child, the court’s primary concern is always the child’s welfare. As part of that assessment, the court may consider the child’s wishes and feelings, taking into account their age and level of understanding.
Generally speaking, the views of a teenager are likely to carry more weight than those of a very young child. However, age alone is not decisive. The court will also consider the child’s maturity, reasons for their views, and whether those views appear genuinely their own.
A 15-year-old with clear, well-reasoned views may be given considerable weight, whereas the views of a younger child may carry less influence depending on the circumstances.
How Does the Court Find Out What a Child Wants?
In many cases, the court will ask CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to become involved.
A CAFCASS officer may speak to the parents and, where appropriate, to the child. They will then prepare a report for the court setting out their recommendations regarding the arrangements that are in the child’s best interests.
It is important to understand that CAFCASS does not simply ask a child where they want to live and report the answer. The officer will explore the child’s wishes and feelings in context, considering factors such as:
- The child’s age and maturity;
- Their relationship with each parent;
- Whether they feel under pressure from either parent;
- The reasons behind their views; and
- Whether the arrangements sought would promote the child’s welfare.
What Happens if My Child Wants to Live with the Other Parent?
A child’s preference is one factor among many that the court will consider.
The court will look at the overall circumstances, including:
- The child’s emotional, educational and physical needs;
- The impact of any change in arrangements;
- The capability of each parent to meet the child’s needs;
- The child’s relationships with family members; and
- Any risk of harm.
Even where a child expresses a strong preference, the court must be satisfied that any proposed arrangement is in their best interests.
What About Older Children?
It is important to note that the Family Court will not ordinarily make or continue a Child Arrangements Order in relation to a child who has reached the age of 16 unless there are exceptional circumstances. As children get older, they generally exercise greater independence, and the practical reality is that their wishes often become increasingly influential.
The Key Takeaway
Many parents believe that once a child reaches a particular age, they can simply choose where they live. In reality, there is no automatic age at which a child gains that right.
A child’s wishes and feelings are important and often become increasingly influential as they get older. However, they are only one part of the wider welfare assessment that the court must undertake.
Every family is different, and the outcome will always depend on the particular facts of the case.
Seeking Legal Advice
Questions regarding child arrangements can be complex, particularly where parents disagree or a child is expressing a strong preference about where they wish to live.
At IMD, we are committed to supporting parents through every stage of a family dispute. By obtaining specialist legal advice early, parents can better understand their options, manage expectations and focus on achieving arrangements that are in their child’s best interests.
This article provides general information about the law in England and Wales and should not be relied upon as legal advice. Every family situation is different, and specific advice should be sought for individual circumstances.
